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It looks like this concept of spiritual love has captured the mad Italian’s heart as she’s twirling her mala beads, finally giving the impression that she’s in deep contemplation. Sarah Bladen is a freelance journalist based in Dubai. They explain the purpose behind the strict routine is simple – it remains constant to allow the monitoring of your self-development.

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This time of day is known as spiritual primetime (aka brahmamuhurta). Perhaps limited contact with the outside world is a blessing in disguise.

While the mad Italian is rolling her eyes in fear, I’m feeling short of breath. The mad Italian isn’t having any of it and once inside our twin room, she inserts her phone charger into the socket, fusing the electricity and plunging us into darkness. Luckily we corner a fellow student and he kindly fixes it. In line with the spiritual ethos, the lights are eco-friendly and designed not to kill any insects.

Back in Dubai, we rarely hear, let alone see birds, apart from the odd falcon sitting on someone's arm as a tourist attraction.

We soon discover our daily schedule involves waking up at 4.15am. One of the students from LA (who’s taking the three-year course) reveals they never watch TV and rarely use the internet – she missed the US presidential election and has never heard of the Kardashians.

Now the mad Italian is threatening to jump ship to the nearby Osho Meditation Resort.

“Tantric dancing is more my cup of chai,” she announces to bemused students over dinner.

Ironically, the mad Italian is already swatting mosquitos with one of her Havaianas flip-flops. ” I cry, but she carries on with diabolical fervour.

Later we go to our first session of devotional singing (the bhajans).

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