Tips 2 shy people dating eachother
Yes, it might mean squandering a night in for a Tinder date who talks about investment banking all night long and never ask you a single question.
But, luckily, there are some ways to make the act of going out just a little less of a daunting hell-ride.
The key is to relax, enjoy yourself and not to analyse everything too much.
First dates are supposed to be the bumbly, slightly-uncomfortable feeling-each-other-out stage. It's probably best that you have a general gauge of what you're doing on the date so that you can suggest something else if it's not your vibe (like, say, a concert).
"I think anything too noisy and distracting is just going to lead to you shutting down more," says Dr.
The advantage of keeping the first date short and simple is that if you don’t like each other, you haven’t got to make it through a seven-course meal together.
If you do like each other, you can either extend the date, or plan a longer one for next time. Try and avoid very noisy places (where you can’t hear each other), cinemas (where you can’t talk), sporting events (unless you know for a fact that they are interested), or your home (because it could be risky if you don’t know them). Make an effort with your appearance - but not so much of an effort that your date wouldn’t recognise you if they bumped into you in the street the next day.
Ok, so you found someone who's great but wants to go out a liiiiittle more often than you do. "Sometimes it's worth channeling your inner extrovert," says Dr. Plus, there's one key element that's different from you being stuck at a house party alone: "If you’re comfortable with your partner, they’ll be there with you," says Dr. "You might find it was more fun than you thought it would be." 11.
But also date someone who gets you."If you need a little push to get out and have fun, dating someone more extroverted can accomplish that," says Dr. "But if you're already really hard on yourself and push yourself mercilessly, it can be validating to date someone who unabashedly stays in." The main thing is: this person has to accept your nesting, blanket-fort-enthusiast ways and never make you feel bad for them.
A first date is loaded with expectancy – will she/he like me and will I like them?
Is this person going to be the “One” or will I want to run for the hills before the starter?
Ellen Hendriksen, author of How to Be Yourself, Quiet Your Inner Critic and Rise Above Social Anxiety.Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating